what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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