can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
