I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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