When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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