so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize