And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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