So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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