don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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