I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
