I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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