where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
