Pappa wants mamma naked
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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