I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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