taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
