Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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