Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize