JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
