If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
