Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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