he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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