Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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