Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
