The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
