I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize