i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
