4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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