lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
