I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
