You kept calling me your small dog last night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
