You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
