butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
