Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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