If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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