i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
