if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
