i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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