I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
