$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
