pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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