I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nicole vs. Life
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
