Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
