What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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