Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize