I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
