If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
