I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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