the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
