I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize