this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
