Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
