but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
