im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
