well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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