My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Randomize
