ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Found the puke drawer
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
