I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize