i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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