I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
