So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
only if we run a train.
done.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
