I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want her autograph on my taint
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
