I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize