"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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