Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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