just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
is wine microwaveable?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
