so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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