And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
