This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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