How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
