the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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