Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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