I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
