I hate your face
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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