when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Your cock deserves a montage
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
