I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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