For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
