i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize