So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
