ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
