your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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