Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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