Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
