The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
