I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
