Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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