Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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