just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
